Some parents may encounter a serious road block called potty training resistance or even simple refusal.
This is a situation where a child will not cooperate with the parent in any one or more area of the potty training process.
Children who are refusing to potty train may be experiencing confusion about what’s expected, emotional fears, painful physical sensations, or general rebellion.
Confusion and Clarification of what is Expected?
Toddlers need new learning experiences broken down into bite sized steps.
If a parent uses a particular method for potty training, they must take time before the start of training to understand all the steps involved in that method.
Once these steps are understood by the parent, it will be far easier to communicate to the child what is expected and how to accomplish the desired outcome.
Emotional Fear
Potty training can be an emotional time for children. Toddlers may fear detachment from the parent as they discover each step in the potty process takes them further away from a routine they have always known.
Once at time of cooing, toe tickling, “PEE YEW”ing and tummy rubbing, potty time has now become a private and independent time.
Children need to understand that their parent is still just as committed to special times as before. Parents can replace diaper changes with a small board book after a successful potty.
Obviously, once the child realizes that Mom doesn’t love them any less than before, their need for emotional support will diminish.
Once they may have had fears, now they will have a sense of accomplishment and pride in their new abilities!
Painful Poops
Some children may refuse to have bowel movements on the potty. Often time this can be traced back to a painful sensation.
Make certain that the potty chair you purchased is not applying pressure to their perineum.
A parent may decide to have a physician determine of the child is constipated and take medical measures to correct the condition.
Another more subtle cause of pain or more accurately irritation, is the tingling legs from dangling off a high toilet.
Proving your toddler with a stool to rest his feet flat on can make a huge difference in comfort level.
General Rebellion - Simply a NO!
As toddlers come into their own, they can develop a real sense of self.
Toddlers are now able to relate verbally to parents and have just discovered the word, “No.” this isn’t necessarily a bad idea, used with the correct attitude toddlers can effectively communicate.
Sometimes this new found ability to refuse an instruction can lead to a power struggle. Often, parents may only need to step back and evaluate their parenting habits.
This author has found that many toddlers are “Addicted to Choice”. If a parent moves through the day giving the child one choice after another, this can foster an elevated sense of control.
Parents may be unaware of creating conflict by offering the toddler to control too many aspects of their environment. “Do you want orange juice or apple juice?” “Do you want the red cup or the blue cup?” “Do you want bacon or sausage?” and so on and so on…..
Then when the parent gives a clear instructions such as, “Sit on the potty before your nap.” it may be met with a direct, “NO!”
If a parent suspects their child is addicted to choice, they may “test” the situation by removing choices and simply making the decision to serve orange juice in the red cup with bacon and eggs.
If the toddler reacts with negative behavior, the parent can address the behavior with whatever consequences they have chosen for their home.
Once the child understands that the parents is constantly in control they will be more cooperative.
